Let’s go testimonials, let’s go (clap clap)

QuickTime link to the :30 commercial, which will pop in a new window.
1 MB.
Have you ever wanted to be an artist?

I always thought there could be nothing worse than bad actors pretending to give authentic testimonials, until I saw this gem of a commercial. It is one of a few similar spots; this is the only one I’ve managed to get so far.

So what could be worse than bad acting in a testimonial? No acting at all. On the plus side, I really do believe that this man sincerely went through the training programs he claims that he did. Wooden script reading and blank stares completely counters any of the positive qualities of this commercial.

The other spot I’ve seen features a man giving a singularly bad testimonial. I may be forced to destroy it instead of posting it to the Internet when and if I get a copy of it.

QuickTime link to the :30 commercial, which will pop in a new window.
1 MB.

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Accent the Negative

Here is a QuickTime link to the :30 commercial, which should pop in a new window. Around 1MB.
The face of evil
and of big car insurance savings

Some local commercials are wretched simply because they air all the damn time. These people run ads non-stop in the state of North Carolina. The ads aren’t that bad, except for the people and their goddamn accents. When I hear this come on I feel like I’m sitting through The Devil’s Advocate again and listening to Keanu Reeves plod through a southern accent with as much ease as he would have scoring well on the LSAT.

HURRHH

If you don’t watch the video and hear this woman’s voice, this second still shot should be pretty representative of how annoying her voice is.

These spots never disappoint me in terms of their grating, life-sucking qualities. Beware of more to come; I currently have many more of these archived, each more terrible than the last. Though my network of rogues inform me that a motley and unlikely band of adventurers have put aside their differences and now journey to my lair to kill me and throw these Direct video spots into a lake of fire on top of some mountain or something, I remain confident their group will be torn apart by petty squabbles, shifting alliances, and maybe one of my Commercial Wraiths. Or maybe I made those things up.

Watch the video..and it will watch you back! Link below.

Here is a QuickTime link to the :30 commercial, which should pop in a new window. Around 1MB.

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