I love this substitute teacher

The advertising for Carl’s Jr. has always been about style. Grace. Finesse. Pert Plus.

This ad is a sad departure from Carl’s Jr.’s usual display of artistic integrity. Instead of relying on the avant gaurde display of showing someone eating in a loud and disgusting fashion, they have to stoop to using dancing women to sell unrelated products. When will we learn commercials aren’t about selling things, they are about listening to people chew their food and watching them spill chili on their shirts and then lick it off.

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#6: Chrysler / SunCom co-op

I’m not big on top 10 “whatever” lists, and didn’t plan on doing one for the worst commercials of 2006. Until I ran into a few lists that other publications had done. Namely, this list by Slate.com made me cock my head to the side like a confused dog and whimper out a confused grunt. Really Slate, do you really think these are the first ten worst commercials of the year? Or are they just the first ten commercials you found? In fact one of them (the Fudgems one) after viewing I decided must be one of the BEST of 2006. (I did agree with the article on at least one contender.)

(Oh there is more…)

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Next we eliminate the middleman

I have mixed feeling about whether or not the Hardee’s fast food chain calling its customer base wussies for eating somewhere else is a good decision. I’m afraid if I push the issue more they’ll call ME a wussy.

I do know this commercial strikes me as kind of nasty for some reason. Previously we examined the chain’s desire to show people eating under disgustingly detailed circumstances. Something about a woman bottle-feeding her boyfriend makes me feel uncomfortable. Like gym locker room and-that old man is completely naked long after his shower is over uncomfortable.

There really isn’t a lot of nuance here. They might as well have the guy say “Ga-ga-goo goo, I’m a baby and I eat at McDonald’s!” and then spit a raspberry at us. Watch the commercial..unless you’re too much of a baby.

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While you’re down there change my oil

Earlier we talked about the dangers of eating a hamburger while trying to wash your car. Apparently nobody was paying attention during that lecture.

This isn’t really as bad as I hoped it might be. It’s not new territory for Carl’s Jr. / Hardee’s either, as the restaurant chain will down right call you a pansy if you don’t want to pack eight pounds of ground sirloin and cheese into your gut. Oh and an extra side of large curly fries please.

Mm curly fries. Wait where am I? Oh right. My big beef with this commercial (get it? It’s a pun because hamburgers are made of beef!) is that the sexuality presented isn’t ironic or humorous, or otherwise justified by any other artistic motive or convention. The advertising industry insider who called it “pornographic” was right in the respect that this is sexuality for the sake of sexuality. Maybe to make this justified, Paris could have volunteered to work in a church charity car wash and then somehow her clothes are ripped off and then things gets all out of control and sexy. You could have then showed exactly everything that was in the commercial and it would have some kind of intelligent context.

But it could also always be worse. Now go eat a hamburger!

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Classy

“Fresh off its campaign using an unborn baby threatening his mother if she continues to eat spicy food, fast-food company Carl’s Jr. will go ahead this week with its Paris Hilton commercial, which has been labeled “pornographic” by one industry source.”

I await this ad and am hoping it will be a rich subject for me to tap.

Carl’s Jr. a.k.a. Hardee’s has had on-again off-again stint with good commercials. This early spot comes to mind from the “off-again” department.

I have a sneaking suspicion this ad might not make it to air, or may only air a few times before it is yanked. Suspense!

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