How the hell did they get The Boss for this

This is a leaked internal video from Microsoft’s sales team, touting the awesomeness of Service Pack 1, and their own awesomeness as a sales team. Watch this while you can, I can’t believe Microsoft wants this available.

This is what happens when white people make a music video. I guess what is the most amusing part of this video to me is that it seems to serve no other purpose than to promote the sales team to Microsoft, and that they clearly spent a lot of money to do that.

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Cerebrus stands before the gates of hell Not pictured: Third head

This commercial comes from a time and place so long ago and so far away, its origins may never be known.

Ok my boss just told me it comes from Japan, and you can see a watermark in the lower left corner that says the spot is from 2001.

Aside from these meager clues, we are left to merely guess as to the purpose of the product being sold in this commercial. Is it a box full of ground up kitty pieces? Using our best estimation of the Japanese culture and people, we can only say, most probably yes.

If you have more information on this mystery, please write your information on a 3 by 5 index card and mail it to:

MYSTERY
Mystery Mailing and Rebate Processing Center
Item Code 3945680924345
P.O. Box 6003202
Branson, MS 65610

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‘Yabba dabba doo’ is like a racial slur to these guys

After a brief eclipse, Geico has apparently started running the cavemen ads again. This ad, which aired during the Super Bowl, features two cavemen panning the television series. They cite some common fan complaints: that the makeup looked pretty awful; and they didn’t even use real cavemen. (Or the original cavemen actors).

I have it on hearsay that the company was purposely not running cavemen ads while the television show was on. That’s good, because, you know, you wouldn’t want this whole thing done to death or anything.

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Click here to see yon video

With some time to digest on the 2008 Super Bowl Ads and sober up, I think it’s clear that another horrible hive-mind theme has emerged on the day some in the industry call ‘the Super Bowl of advertising’. Last year the airwaves were rife with talking animals, (an observation which pissed off, of all people, the California Cheese Council, go figure. I have framed your cease and desist letter guys, it helps motivate me when times are bad).

But this year the offensive theme is something not quite as bad: good old all American racism.

Sales Genie has to take the cake with their ads calling out Indians and Chinese for having hilarious accents, lots of kids, and bad grammar. (Click here for the first ad, click here for the second).

Personally I think there’s nothing blatantly offensive about this kind of humor, where I think they make a giant blunder is that they were most certainly trying to appeal to business owners and sales people specifically in these two nationalities. What better way to appeal to your potential customers than to completely and utterly mock them.

(Oh there is more…)

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Click here to see yon video

If you’re like me, you slept through the Super Bowl because you were hung over all day from drinking the night before. This is an ad you didn’t see even if you stayed conscious during the game, supposedly because it was banned by Fox from the air. Come on, Fox hasn’t cared about airing complete and utter garbage since the first episode of Herman’s Head. There, I said it.

Whether or not it was a viral market stunt, the ad is disappointing to say the least. The spoof the ol’ gettin’ out of your limo with your naughty bits hanging out gag is, let’s be honest, a really old joke by the time Mad TV finds out about it. Sorry Fox, we’re still friends, you know I’m joking. wink wink no I’m not wink wink

The ad might have been funnier if they didn’t have a voice over guy repeating the word ‘beaver’ over and over during the spot. Though I guess if you’re the kind of person who explodes with laughter the first time you hear the word beaver, it’s going to keep being funny. Forever.

Beaver.

We’ll cover more ads later in the week. Or not, as my drinking schedule dictates.

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