Beef Hardslab, Crunch Smackfight, Burt Groinbig

Here’s a great promo for FX’s The X Show which is bound to be confusing if seen while drifting off to sleep in front of the TV.

I have nothing else to say about this so I’ll just list as many funny names as I can think of. Dirk Bigthrust. Knuckles Fightman. Curls Barbell. Wide Chokekill. Trip Headkick. Sprint Fencejump. Mitt Romney.

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Shameful, shameful money

The ‘Life Takes Visa’ campaign has a fair number of detractors, notably the Consumerist who found this article on Credit Slips, which in turn criticizes the ‘Morning in Manhattan’ ad found on this page.

The ad shows a perfect clockwork of commerce, with everyone paying with Visa, until someone tries to pay with actual cash. Everything slows down as the man is sneered at, then given his change. Though the only actual slow down in the paying processes seems to be the amount to time it take the cashier to sneer. Don’t worry, before long automated payment systems will eliminate the need for your job at all, cashier lady.

Originally, I liked this campaign when the ads were comparing using credit / debit card as opposed to using a personal check, by far the slowest way possible to pay for anything. But using cash still tends to be faster than using a check or credit card, especially if you have to sign a slip or punch in your pin number. Or maybe the phone line has no carrier, or maybe your magnetic strip is dying and the cashier has to punch in the numbers. Then sometimes the bank service network is temporarily down. You know what, I have two dollars in my wallet how about I give you those instead?

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Plenty of old school rock songs have been played to death by commercials to the point where you forget they were even original artist recordings. This Top 9 List is devoted to the Indie and Alternative Rock songs that have been ruined or marred in one way or another by television advertising.

Click the picture for the commercial Pops in a new window

Number Nine: Punkrocker by the Teddybears by Cadillac

This one ranks not too highly because it didn’t get overplayed quite as much or over such a long period of time as some others on the list. But when this commercial made it to the small screen, the track was just reaching popularity, meaning this spot came out right at that magical sweet spot in the life of a popular music track to taint its listenability.

(Oh there is more…)

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There’s a joke here but it’s beneath me

Some of the worst commercials are the ones you just simply don’t like. In this commercial two people open their mouths and blare out music to communicate. It’s hard to really tell what the lyrics are our how they are relevant to what they are supposed to be saying. This all does nothing to distract from the total lack of humor in this spot. I don’t recommend anyone ever watch it ever.

Click the picture to watch it!

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Man my teets are barking

Skittles has a very special kind of advertising. From sheep boys to beard face, nothing says Skittles like an abomination of nature.

Though technically it is possible for men to lactate, and some people are born with vestigial nipples, I still must call the likelihood of this event happening into question. I mean this guy would have been fired a long time ago because of his attitude. And I don’t care how much milk he’s making, if it’s sour no one is going to buy it. Use your heads people.

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