In this commercial for Crazy Gideon’s, Gideon demonstrates that he can be trusted with your valuables, and that he will provide prompt and courteous customer service.

Unlike many pawn shops, which we think this store is (Gideon has been cryptic on the matter), there is no camp or cheapness about the operation. From head to toe, Gideon runs a tight ship, attending to exacting details, such as displaying electronics alphabetically by brand name, and even flashing them with the latest firmware.

Gideon finds his inspiration from an unlikely source: Martha Stewart. ‘It’s obvious they tried to bring her spirit and style to their TV commercial,’ an industry insider said.

If it weren’t for this one insane doctor, the strip club in Van Nuys wouldn’t have anyone working there at all. And, apparently, he’s their only customer, so they wouldn’t have any income if it weren’t for him either. It’s a business model that cannot fail.

This beautifully done and tasteful commercial raises the chilling possibility of a 21st century ‘superpimp’. Not only does the superpimp manage the girls in this science fiction nightmare scenario, but he medically and genetically creates them as his mind’s eye sees fit.

Besides this shocking revelation, nothing is wrong with this commercial. Everything is fine.