It’s pretty brave to sport a pirate theme for your furniture store commercial in a landlocked state like Indiana. Or is it something other than ‘bravery’ when you put on a billowing parachute shirt and tights?

Pirates, the terrorists of the sixteenth century, have been been stealing from the rich and giving to themselves since the invention of the boat and the burlap sack with a dollar sign on the front. But now for a limited time they are giving back in the form of massive store-wide discounts, and a video recording that will one day be used to declare them non compos mentis by their future inheritants who were forced to appear in it.

I really wish national commercials looked like this, except with slightly higher production values. It would be like the Conan O’Brien show was on 24-7.