Buy this home or go rot

I really love this spot, thought it’s so perfect I had to doubt it was for a real company. Cullman Liquidation Center does have a website, though my investigative effort ends there. I’m not buying a mobile home just to find out if these guys are for real. I do find it odd that their commercial is so well produced, and their web is so well..something else.. but it does continue to make the case that these people keep it real.

No crazy Gideon not again NOOO

In this commercial for Crazy Gideon’s, Gideon demonstrates that he can be trusted with your valuables, and that he will provide prompt and courteous customer service.

Unlike many pawn shops, which we think this store is (Gideon has been cryptic on the matter), there is no camp or cheapness about the operation. From head to toe, Gideon runs a tight ship, attending to exacting details, such as displaying electronics alphabetically by brand name, and even flashing them with the latest firmware.

Gideon finds his inspiration from an unlikely source: Martha Stewart. ‘It’s obvious they tried to bring her spirit and style to their TV commercial,’ an industry insider said.

Got problems with a restraining order? Shazaaammm!!

The global credit pimp market slipped further towards disaster as yet another credit pimp emerged to fight for an already over crowded market place.

This is by far the funniest take on the pimp theme I’ve seen to date, striking much more of a tongue-in-cheek style than some other local television spots that had a similar idea. The pointless “Shazaaammm!!” shot, along with the Chris Rock style guttural growl when the pimp dealer says “no dollars down!” puts this commercial in a league of its own.

Tasteful. Subtle. Classy. Elegant. The Credit Pimp

A commenter on this article reminded me not to forget about the Credit Pimp of Chicago’s own rival in the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia.

Unlike the old man who just walks the walk, the Credit Pimp of Philly actually uses the ‘p’ word to describe what he will do to your credit. No, he won’t smack it for withholding money from turning tricks, he’ll spend the amount a normal person would put away for a down payment on a house, and instead put it towards 3 flat screen LCD HD TVs in the backseat of your credit, along with a sub woofer that can vibrate the lumps out of mashed potatoes.

At the time we thought he had all the answers

How does ‘Big Daddy’ of Lincoln Car Insurance in Chicago get all the ladies? This commercial for the company explains some of the mystery. The rest, we assume, has something to do with a great and powerful sorcerer.

This is like a masters course in bad commercial making. There are things in here so bad the layman just wouldn’t think of it. ‘When you cut to him, he has joke spring glasses on and a sound effect plays? I never would have thought to do something that stupid! Truly this is the work of a master.’

Oh and let’s not forget that the mock-pimp getup makes him look totally racist. If his rates are as low as he says I guess we can forgive him.