A common theme in food advertising is anthropomorphising the food item into a mascot. Is this not promoting a form of cannibalism? Worse still, must we assume the advertisers have forced the magic talking M&M to turn on its own kind?

Port Sherry examines the brainstorming process in realistic detail in this comic about a taco eating a taco.

In this terrifying commercial, we get to put a human face on the eggs we’re eating. Watch the ad below to gaze into the unrepentant face of the cannibal egg.

Be warned that watching the commercial below will instill in the watcher an irresistible urge to join the Ukrainian army. The recommended procedure for safely watching this ad is to have two strong friends stand behind the watcher, holding his arms tightly. The restrainers must be fitted with blindfolds and soundproof ear protectors.

As this spot started, I presumed that the 80s had invaded the Ukraine, and so naturally the military was called out to combat the threat. By the end of the spot I was quite confused, as the military seemed to deem the presence of 1980s fashion themes as friendly.

There were probably detailed political nuances going on that I am not privy too. Perhaps the military forces made an alliance of convenience with the 1980s to help combat a greater threat, like say an invasion from the south mounted by the 1970s.

In any event, we must fight the 80s in the Ukraine, lest we end up fighting it here.

This commercial is an experimental therapy that is being tested as an alternative to caffeine. Some side effects include confusion, irritability, seizures, and permanent psychosis. It is not recommended you watch this without direction from your doctor.

Let’s watch!

This is a very special advertisement for a used 1994 BMW 530i.