Gary Busey appears in a series of nonsensical ads for GotVMail. In this ad, Gary has a great idea about bears. There are quite a few of these, so look at the YouTube channel to see the rest.

It seems as though they just let Gary Busey go through a fifth of Jack and then set him loose. If I say anything else disparaging about Busey I fear he will actually pay me a visit. I fear for my life.

The kind gents at College Humor bring us this new ad for Power Thirst. It’s much like Power Thirst part one, except this time, it’s part two.

Bear blasting is something you’ll make up after you drink this drink because you’ll be too energetic for normal sports. It will make you win at running, football, weddings, and art.

This is the funniest parody of a commercial so far made, attempt no further parodies under severe penalty of rocket can.

This awful commercial comes to us today via the Consumerist.

These three commercials are from 1986, and have all the production values of an Electric Company skit. Watch for Linda staring towards the camera / director for her cue to sit back up in bed.

I still say they should have gotten real medical help for this poor woman.

I have to say, I really love this commercial. It’s a very simple concept done well, and the presentation over ninety seconds lets the suspense build to the appropriate level.

When the drum set is revealed you know the instant before it happens that there is about to be an oddly placed drum solo in the middle of this long winding ballad which is actually not about seeing someone drown. But we now know the song is clearly about a gorilla excited beyond words that Cadbury now features a glass and a half of dairy milk in a new chocolate bar. And he expresses this joy by rocking out.

Behold “Copy that Floppy” (via in4mador) a ten-minute PSA from sometime in the deep dark past of the computer age (around the time people were still calling it “the computer age”)

What (maybe) makes this entire video worth watching are the references to specific games from this era, like Oregon Trail (the Indian has dysentery and a broken leg and has also been dead for three months) and Carmen Sandiego. That’s right kids, before it had an acapella theme song, it was a crappy video game that made learning tedious. (Hit F-12 to see Carmen topless).

Even a hundred years later, the relevance of the subject matter in this video is a little chilling. Instead of P2P networks, kids are trading files manually (and the nerdier ones are using the BBS and owning you at Trade Wars). Files have gotten a little harder to copy, but the problem is still the same. The irony is this video would probably do more to curb software piracy today than current methods, since a little education on the matter goes a long way.

When people are expected to do the right thing, say by voluntarily contributing to open source and freeware programmers, they usually will do so, but they still need to be informed enough to know what the right thing to do is. And that right thing is to produce another rap video educating the masses about the dangers of software piracy.

Since then I’ve posted on other cavemen spots. With the amount of cavemen commercials out there I felt the need to start this definitive caveman article, which will feature all the current ads, and be updated with the reviews on the new ones when and if they show up.

Additionally, if one more person asks if a caveman is really Val Kilmer, or what the song playing in the airport is, I will go insane. So at the bottom of this article I will also maintain a “Geico Caveman FAQ”. So read the frequently-asked-questions before you ask a frequently asked question. For the love of god, read it first.

The Geico Caveman FAQ

Q: “Is one of the cavemen Val Kilmer???????”

A: No.

Q: “My cousin told me that caveman is Val Kilmer!! Is it?? It looks like him!”

A: No, it’s not.

Q: “I swear to god that is Val Kimer!”

A: It’s not.

Q: “Who are the Geico cavemen?”

A: One is Ben Weber, another is Jeffery Daniel Phillips. John Lehr is also a caveman, and recently was on TBS’s ‘Ten Items or Less’. Which actor is which caveman is a question I do not have the answer to right now.

Q: “Is the therapist Adrian from the Rocky movie? Talia Shire”

A: Actually, yes.

Q: “Please name all the extras and the cameraman and the best boy and key grip and anything else you can thin of!!”

A: No.

Q: “Who makes the cavemen ads for Geico?”

A: The Martin Agency. I don’t know if they do all the other Geico ads, but they do some of them at least. My best-guess is that they currently produce them all.

Q: “What is the airport song / where can I get it?”

A: The song is “Remind Me” by R�yksopp.

Q: “How can I make the song my ringtone?”

A: I am told Cingular sells it. Check your local ring-tone provider for more information.

Q: “Is a Geico caveman TV show in the works?”

A: According to this article, the Variety has alluded to ABC picking up a caveman TV show:

‘BC has plans to turn a series of quirky commercials for insurance provider Geico which revolve around a number of indignant cavemen into a half-hour comedy pilot, Variety reported. Taking its cue from the ads, Cavemen centers on three prehistoric men who must battle prejudice as they attempt to live as normal 30-somethings in modern Atlanta.

The pilot was written by Joe Lawson, the advertising copywriter who was behind the ads, as well as other comedic Geico spots. Daniel Rappaport, Guymon Cassady, Will Speck and Josh Gordon are executive-producing. Speck and Gordon, commercial directors who recently helmed the Will Farrell feature Blades of Glory, are on board to also direct.

The single-camera pilot is based on a series of Geico ads that promote the insurance company’s Web site as so user-friendly that even “a caveman could do it.” The spots follow cavemen as they react with offense to the derogatory slogan in modern locations such as a cable news program, an upscale restaurant, the airport and a therapist’s office.

Jeff Daniel Phillips and Ben Weber play the cavemen in the Geico spots; it is unknown whether they will also appear in the series.’

Here is the full article in Variety:

‘Winner for most unusual piece of development this pilot season goes to ABC, which has turned a series of quirky Geico commercials into an actual half-hour comedy project.

“Cavemen” will revolve around three pre-historic men who must battle prejudice as they attempt to live as normal thirtysomethings in modern Atlanta.

Project, from ABC TV Studio, is penned by Joe Lawson, an advertising copywriter who was behind the “Caveman” ads — as well as other Geico commercials (think the cockney-speaking Geico gecko, and the reality TV spoof “Tiny House”).

Daniel Rappaport, Guymon Cassady, Will Speck and Josh Gordon are exec producers. Speck and Gordon, commercial directors who recently helmed the Will Farrell feature “Blades of Glory,” are on board to also direct.

The single-camera laffer pilot is based on the Geico ads that promote the insurance company’s Web site as so user-friendly that even “a caveman could do it.” The spots follow cavemen in modern settings, reacting with offense to the derogatory slogan. In one, a Geico spokesman apologizes and takes the Neanderthals out to dinner.

Other blurbs include the sensitive, modern cavemen peeved at the offending slogan while encountering Geico ads in everyday life, including the airport.

The caveman commercials were created through the Richmond, Va.-based Martin Agency. Jeff Daniel Phillips and Ben Weber play the cavemen in the Geico spots; no word if they’ll make the transformation to the TV project.

Few TV shows have come out of the commercial sphere; more frequently, TV characters live on in 30-second spots long after their shows are canceled (think “ALF”).

But it’s not without precedence: The 2002 CBS comedy “Baby Bob” revolved around a talking baby character that was first seen in a series of dot.com ads. After the Eye canceled “Baby Bob,” the character returned to its commercial roots, spending time as a pitchman (pitchbaby?) for Quizno’s Subs.’ Thanks to DrLar for finding this.

Another article on the show in development.

Ask more questions here and (maybe) they will get answered. Feel free to post the answers to some of the lingering questions I have left here.

I have a very specific standard for posting very local commercials. On the whole they all tend to look “bad” by national standards, and it’s really just a lack of technical expertise available at the level the commercials are being made. If that was the only standard I picked commercials by the site would just be full of local spots. Also, I don’t want to embarrass any local producers or business people who were genuinely trying to make a funny / good commercial and it’s just not up-to-snuff by national or regional standards. I try to pick spots that are meant to be corny or hilarious, or are just so ridiculous me pointing them out isn’t breaking any news (or hurting any feelings that aren’t already trampled all over).

Words really can’t substitute watching this spot. If you are at work and can’t see the spot right now, it’s a two minute rap pitching the fact that the Montgomery Flea Market is much like a mini mall.

It’s hilarious, but at the same time strangely effective. With this spot, it’s bad but endearingly so. I’m sure the business has many comments from customers every day that they have seen the commercial. It’s advertising that gets into your brain, and a quirk of marketing that only seems to be produced at, and effective on, the local level.

With a healthy round of brand new Geico caveman spots out, it’s about time for an official Caveman Update. This comment thread is a pretty good testament to the fact that the original three Geico caveman spots were very well loved.

There is a new addition to the Red Devil Games spots, brought to you by Red Devil Games dot com of Red Bank New Jersey.

I can’t say anything bad about this commercial. It tops the earlier three, all of which were already very good. There is a lot of bang for your buck in these spots, which are all creative energy and a few dollars in fake mustaches. I greatly enjoy the man’s wife having a mustache for no apparent reason, and of course the “Did I push him too hard?” line and response.

I’m glad to see the Red Devil Games site has an online shopping cart, because their spots definitely have a good reach beyond their local market area on a little something I like to call the Internets. It’s a great state of affairs when a few guys with a camera and no budget can outstrip most of the professionally made commercials on TV for entertainment value. Keep up the great work!