I don’t know about this, I’m not ready

If only trans fats and carbs had gotten on the ball and hired an advertising agency maybe we’d all be eating Oreos with 40 grams of delicious Freedom Fats®, with extra Carbolectrolytes®.

When I see this commercial I feel the same way I do when I see the Coal-Is-Awesome Council tell us that coal is delicious and children should freebase it for healthy bones and posture.

Confound the dread enemies of Delicious Freedom Syrup™ by asking: ‘Hey, you dang meanie, what’s so gosh darn awful about Freedom Syrup™ anyway?’ Watch as he can only just scratch his head, and eat your popsicle in defeat! (Stilted laughing optional)

Even if high fructose corn syrup isn’t worse than sugar, it’s as bad. It’s hard enough to educate Americans about eating correctly, do we really need zombies walking around arguing that high fructose corn syrup is as healthy as corn?

Seems like there’s another issue I forgot about. Oh right, corn is disproportionately subsidized by the U.S. government. And instead of being sold in semi-healthy cob form, it’s turned into magical diabetes juice, and injected into everything we eat and drink.

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I told you Jerry and Bill love each other

It’s hard not to call this a ‘commercial about nothing,” but that’s what it is if you miss the one-second tag for Microsoft at the end. True, Bill Gates is in the commercial, but he’s also stepped down from the company. It could have easily turned into a commercial for Visa with a surprise, Bob Dole-esque cameo by the former CEO.

It is strange that after resolving himself of responsibility in the operation of Microsoft that Bill Gates could become the most perfect, adorable spokesman for the brand. Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates work fantastically well in this commercial, and sets up Bill Gates to fill the role Dave Thomas filled for the fast food chain Wendy’s.

If this is indeed a response to the Hey We Suggest You Get a Mac, Sir commercials for Apple, it is a very good non-smug branding response.

The end of the commercial does leave a little enigma, is this supposed to be a teaser for a new idea in development by Microsoft? I mean how do they top the Zune? Any question a viewer asking themselves after seeing the spot is probably a positive outcome for the company. I had a much more disturbing question after seeing the spot: Is Jerry Seinfeld funnier in commercials than he is on regular television?

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Welcome to flavor country

If you watch this ad for Estonian meat without sound, it’s a lot like the scenes in the movie Event Horizon where everyone has space madness. Watching it with the sound on, it’s more like a Bjork video (just as disturbing).

This commercial from Soviet-era Estonia conjures images of grotesque and surreal Polish movie posters for American movies, Salvador Dali’s short shock film Un chien andalou, and the boat ride from the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

The strangest thing about this bizarre commercial is that after a lifetime of being fed so much processed food, the image of fresh ground chuck coming out of a grinder is strangely appetizing to me. This commercial breaks all the rules and comes out with a paradoxical visual product you cannot look away from, like MSNBC’s morning show coverage in St. Paul. You cannot put a microphone on a guest while the camera is on them! Can you? Oh my god they are doing it.

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