Never ask me about my car business!

This blank template ad for local Stamford-area Toyota dealerships parodies the Godfather, staring ‘Don CarLoanie’ as the car salesman.

I found this on the YouTube acting reel of Frankie J. Mosca, where there is another local dealership ad. This one isn’t quite as noteworthy for campiness, though the ending begs the question as to whether or not it’s a spoof of this Geico caveman commercial’s classic line: ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’.

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Is your bathroom dirty? Time to sell!

It might be hard, but try to spot five things that are wrong with this TV commercial.

If you said all of the following things, you are right!

1) Instead of speaking in iambic pentameter, the woman instead cracks and strains her voice in an annoying manner.

2) The ripple transition should not be used to simulate a time lapse UNLESS the time lapse is because of time travel. Otherwise it should be used to simulate going down a drain.

3) The woman mentions children but clearly has none and compensates for this by putting unitards on her dog and taking it to ballet class.

4) You may not sell your home to avoid civil damages incurred in a classic ‘dog dug up neighbor’s yard’ lawsuit (see Township of Old Cape v. Cupcake, 1983)

5) The commercial cuts off at the end which is clearly a dated reference to the last episode of the Sopranos.

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Full text feeds are now available instead of the wimpy wimpy summaries. We are still trouble shooting the ad display issues in Internet Explorer on aggregate post pages… (since Internet Explorer is too incompetent to be a good browser).

Please don’t tell Internet Explorer what I said, I’m drunk

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Do you wave your pinkie at me sir?

The World of BBC News covers this television commercial ad brought to us by New South Wales, Australia.

Phil Mercer says in the report, ‘Television and online ads show scornful women bending their little fingers at young men in fast cars. It’s a signal to infer that the men have small penises.’

Oh so that’s what that means, no wonder none of the taxis stopped for me when I was in Australia doing that at them. And by the way Phil, the signal would imply the presence of a small penis, though the signaler could maybe infer its existence.

Hypothetical small member asides, the report goes on to warn that some think the ad might promote the finger waving in public, and lead to small-donged road rage.

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One time I really did poop out bricks

This ad, found via the Consumerist, finds a classy way to talk about defecation on a construction site.

In case you didn’t notice, things in the background of this man talking are supposed to have overtones of pooping. Or maybe it’s just a really dangerous workplace environment.

I dislike the ‘things happening in the background’ commercials, espcially the ‘Raising the Bar’ spots Cingular puts out where things line up to look like cell phone signal bars. I don’t have any kind of aesthetic rationale, seeing those spots just make me want to choke a dog.

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