What you are about see see will shock and terrify you

The accessibility of CGI has been bringing a whole new level of cheapness to local television commercials that was once only possible in the dreams of science fiction authors and futurist essay writers. Be it an animated hamburger whose lip sync to the audio is non-existent, a poorly composited dragon placed in a local shoe store’s commercial for some reason, or this obviously fake van rollover for the Sleep Center of the Southwest, all are pointlessly wasting CPU power that could be put to better use by being farmed out to SETI in the search for extraterrestrial life.

My philosophy is in production, if you can’t do something right, or you don’t have enough funding to do something right, everyone will laugh at you.

Upon closer inspection I wonder if this was a home-grown CGI van at all, or if it’s just a clip taken from the video Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

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Don’t worry boss I got this one covered

Boss: ‘Oh no, I completely forgot I was supposed to go to the TV station today to tape our commercial!’

Cashier: ‘Don’t worry boss, they called and we sent Barry down there.’

Boss: ‘Oh dear God no..’

Cashier: ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure he didn’t totally embarrass us.’

Examine this ad closely to try to spot the subtle moment where Barry the assistant manager in fact does totally embarrass his parent corporation and their respective franchises.

This ad is so bad it looks more like a skit from SNL than a local television commercial. Someone pay this man six thousand dollars a year and put him on the writing staff!

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If you see this post, then you’re seeing the site on its new server. I’ve restored some comments lost that were made while we were moving the database, but some may still vanish. If you can see this post, any comments you make from now on will be safe and you can sleep easy.

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