Pictured above: Offending Ad

awfcom89: there have been a lot of purported “controversies” over the Super Bowl ads this year.

rosco-9000: you mean snickers has men kissing

awfcom89: right, and the countless other controversies

rosco-9000: like what

awfcom89: well anna nicole smith died

rosco-9000: that wasn’t really related to the super bowl ads

awfcom89: or WAS it? (conspiracy!!)

rosco-9000: :O omg!

awfcom89: yeah, think about it. anyway i thought we could help out fedEx today by fabricating some controversy around their “moon-base ad”, which would lead to more publicity of the ad, which, scientifically, leads to more people shipping items to the moon via Federal Express 14-Day Guanranteed Moon Delivery

rosco-9000: i bet ralph kramden’s wife is in that shipment

awfcom89: …

rosco-9000: from the honeymooners

awfcom89: …

rosco-9000: he’s always say “bam zoom to the moon” (metaphor for beating his wife)

awfcom89: anyway

rosco-9000: they couldn’t show two beds pushed together on tv back then but threatening to punch your wife was fine

awfcom89: ANYway, i found this ad for fedex deeply offensive

rosco-9000: lawsuit!

awfcom89: the ad shows a guy getting hit my a meteor on the moon. my uncle died that way

rosco-9000: do you want to talk about it?

awfcom89: when i’m ready

rosco-9000: one thing i noticed: this ad is forty-five seconds long. what, is thirty seconds NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, FEDEX??

awfcom89: …

rosco-9000: controversy!

awfcom89: that’s not really a controversy

rosco-9000: whose extra fifteen seconds did you steal fedex? the american heart council’s?

awfcom89: i knew it was a bad idea to ask you to help me write this article

rosco-9000: just who do you think you are fedex

awfcom89: one thing that peeved me, inside the moon base there appears to be micro gravity, as on the space shuttle.

rosco-9000: that crazy astronaught lady is like a controversy

awfcom89: …

rosco-9000: diapers.

awfcom89: anyway on the moon there is enough gravity to keep things from just floating off the ground

rosco-9000: oh thank god

awfcom89: yeah you can stop purposely packing on the pounds fatty

rosco-9000: ..

awfcom89: then we see them on the surface of the moon, and they seem to react to normal “moon gravity” like the astronauts did

rosco-9000: you know what fuck you

awfcom89: but then when one guy gets gently tapped he flies into the air. this wouldn’t happen, and he wouldn’t keep floating into the air like that

awfcom89: what? why fuck me?

rosco-9000 has logged off

awfcom89: uh.

User rosco-9000 is not available

awfcom89: ok..

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