Please go about your business like I’m not watching

Nothing is quite as horrifying as pulling your blinds open and finding someone staring back at you. When I do this I always try to have some kind of omelet sandwich to give the person to calm them down. They will usually let me watch them for a few minutes after that until things get weird.

These ads for Burger King’s “eggnourmous” omelet sandwich have been made somewhat famous on the Internets, and the King commercials seem to have an odd staying power.

Burger King should pay people to dress up like the king and sneak up to car windows during bumper-to-bumper traffic. It would be great brand identification because when the driver had the hell scared out of them they would remember the commercial. This will equal profit.

Caveman sticking it to the non-cave man

This is one of my favorite spots currently airing on TV. It’s an ad for Geico car insurance featuring maligned cavemen. Some of you may have seen the lesser played version of this spot where after the announcer finishes recording the commercial, we see an angry caveman on the set throw down a boom mic and storm off.

This is one of those commercials that is so weird it does a good job of getting your attention. And metrosexual passive-aggressive cavemen are just funny.

You are humiliating me in front of the parrot

Here’s another ad featuring people with unreasonable problems regarding simple tasks and services.

Falling asleep at your computer? Staring into space during work? Well you should be fired. Go home.

But wait now you can download a screensaver that will keep you awake! I feel the need to point out the obvious, that your screensaver only comes up typically after you’ve been idle for many many minutes, and you can only enjoy it while your computer remains inoperable. And of course there’s the fact you’re staring mindlessly into a screensaver. But I guess the people who want to stare into a screensaver are just the sort of people who will respond to this ad.

Click above or below to look at this minute long featurette regarding the end of the age where one must sit bored at work, motionless, with no screensaver to keep them company as they remain immobile for eight hours straight.