Click for the :30 Local Chevy spot @1 MB, Quicktime

Today I somberly and with a heavy heart present some spots which misuse special effects. The special effects are ineffective and/or bad.

The first spot (with the video link below the picture) is a local spot for Safeway Chevrolet. Their spots feature a gosh dern talkin’ dog.

Why do car lots refuse to pay good money to an advertising agency? No one making commercials works harder than a local car lot to make exactly the worst commercial possible given their available resources.

What is the point of the talking dog? Is it really faster than shooting the owner or a salesman? Are they hoping locals will show up to the store in search of the six-foot-tall talking dog?

The reason the dog is there is because they could put it there. I doubt the money they spent on him is worth the tradeoff of buying less runs for their ads.

Click for the :15 Extra spot @500 KB, Quicktime

On the national scene, here’s a goddamn talking piece of gum. I take great issue with anthropomorphizing the product that is to be eaten (or masticated, in this case). Why is the gum so determined to be chewed up? Why is he Scottish?

More to the point, what marketing benefit does having an animated character add to the commercial? Ads like this are just filler. They might as well just have the product on a white backdrop sitting silently on screen for thirty seconds.

Consumers are completely unamazed by animated critters anymore. Children are unamazed. Cats..well cats still try to attack them through the TV screen. You stupid cat, it’s not real.

This spot reminds me of an episode of Tales from the Darkside where a bowl of fruit came to life and a woman kept trying to stop herself from eating the fruit. Or they tried to stop her. Whatever, it was really scary.

Click for the :30 Local Lasik spot @1 MB, Quicktime

This last spot gently cushions our impact at rock bottom. As you can see in the still frame, it has, yes that’s right, a totally technically accurate lens flare. The video link is below the picture if you want to watch it in its full motion glory.

The spot is mainly stock footage. It’s not fantastic and the footage is a little dated, but it could be worse. Then WOOSH it does get worse as a lens flare erupts from the model’s eye at the end of the spot.

Only first time Photoshop users and Star Wars poster designers use the lens flare. If you find yourself applying it and you fit into neither of these categories, you are commanded to stop.

I remember when I discovered the lens flare effect in After Effects. Ah, it was magical. But if a rinky dink car dealership can afford a fucking 3D talking damn dog, no one is going to be anywhere near impressed by your silly little lens flare.

In video I think unless you actually need to simulate a lens flare (the effect produced by the sun or other light source moving by the camera) there probably is no excuse to break it out. Usually less is more. At least that’s what I tell the ladies.

I’ll be back in the next exciting adventure of Awful Commercials.

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