Click for the :30 Alabama spot #1 @1 MB, Quicktime

Howdy ya’ll! We’re fixin’ to correct many of the mees-con-cep-shuns ya’ll must got’s in yer brains ’bout ALABAMMY!

(Shooting guns in the air whilst dancing with my sister)

(Fiddlin’ a spell)

I’ve got two spots by the Alabama Supreme Tourism Authority for ya’ll to take a gander at. In this first one (the link is below the still image of the “laptop”, a.k.a. “horseless computer”) we discover there’s more to Alabama than incompetent gas station owners.

A man pulls in to get directions (after all..it’s his turn!) and he is shocked -SHOCKED- that the man has a PowerBook and a nice 21 inch flat screen monitor.

Check out this motherfucka!

Man, I wish I had a PowerBook. The acting in this spot is a little questionable, but what stands out more is the ham-fisted attempt to make Alabama seem modern. I might be surprised to find a run down gas station had such expensive computer equipment, but it wouldn’t change my perception about Alabama, just my perception of the income level of gas station owners. Actually I hear they make a lot of money. That’s it, I quit this job.

And did the old man name his dog “Browser”? Is his first name “Internet”? Let’s move on before I start writing a letter.

Click for the :30 Alabama spot #2 @1 MB, Quicktime

In this second spot (the link is below the picture) we see some beautiful photography of an Alabama golf course. Hey, it looks pretty dang beautiful. Good job guys. You didn’t screw this one up. I had you all figured wrong.

In all honesty, after that last commercial, I was about to fire you. All of you. But now, I see that..wait a minute..

Just when things look like they are going well, we see some really poorly timed acting. “That’ll be forty of them Union dollars you gots mister!” the woman says to the golfer. “….PER HOLE?” he asks.

I don’t really want to blame the actor for this, I think they just left in a little bit too much of his initial “shocked” reaction before he speaks. But the result is so bad it’s burned a place in my brain forever.

Click for re-edited Alabama #2 spot under 1 MB, Quicktime

I’ve isolated the few seconds of trouble video in this third video link to help illustrate my point. Remember, it’s for illustration only. I’m serious.

The picture of the dog has nothing to do with the video link. Seriously, he doesn’t. There are no dogs in this video. Nope. Not a one.

That’s all fer today ya’ll! Now get off my prop-er-tee af’fore I dance with yer mommas! YEE HAW! (Dancing in a river while gold prospecting)

(Whittlin’ up a proper pokin’ stick)

(Votin’ ag’in yer candidates)

(Jugglin’)

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